Be Kind Month: Patience pays

How can patience affect positivity? Patience is a virtue, it’s said, something certainly true when training horses. Andrea Oakes looks at its challenges and how riders can benefit from taking a step back.

Steady, incremental progress is considered a cornerstone of dressage, so why is it sometimes so difficult to keep our cool – either in the moment, as we’re schooling, or over a season when things aren’t happening as quickly as we’d like them to?

“Impatience is rooted in frustration,” says sport and exercise psychologist Professor Moira Lafferty, who explains that this emotion can be defined as feeling unwilling to wait, exhibiting negative behaviours if we’re made to wait or going right ahead and doing something anyway. “Typically, we have a goal and we’ve set a time frame, but we realise it’s going to take longer to get there. We might enter a state of stress, with shallow breathing and tension, and we’re less able to work within the environment, either logically or rationally.”

When training, impatience can arise if it takes longer than expected for a movement to become established or a level to be reached.

“This is especially common if a rider is comparing a horse to one they’ve trained previously, as they realise the process might take more investment than they first thought,” says Moira. “Impatience can be heightened if a rider is also engaging in social comparison, measuring themselves against others.”

Seeking solutions

Alice Oppenheimer has taken many horses to Grand Prix and agrees that patience can be tested at any level.

“It can be frustrating if you feel you’ve tried everything in your toolbox to find a solution,” she says. “But it’s so important to remember that every horse is an individual and you have to find out what works with each. As the rider, we’re the side of the partnership with the ability to reason, to step back and go away to think about what’s not working and why. There may not be a eureka moment. Sometimes, it does take time.

“What I have learned over the years is that no ride is better than a bad ride,” she says, suggesting that it might be better to walk away if a rough day at work has left you short of patience. “There have been times when I’ve not even got on. It’s also worth remembering that we are supposed to enjoy this. Even as professional riders, there’s still the love of the horse. We always need to go back to that.”

According to Grand Prix rider and trainer Anna Ross, impatience can be down to a lack of confidence. “Frustration can arise with people who feel they have something to prove,” she says. “With experience, you tend to develop more patience. You know that such-and-such a horse took two years to get his flying changes, for example, and you understand that it takes time.

“Be flexible with training,” she adds. “You might have an idea for a session, of what to work on, but there’s no guarantee the horse will want to join in. Going through the check list – is he bending and left and right, for example, and on the aids – will lead you to work on the right things. And if you feel incapable of not turning schooling into a three-hour session, then simply don’t go in the arena. Cross-training is important, so go for a hack instead. Don’t put temptation in your path.”

When training a movement, Anna explains, less is often more. “A rider’s competitive urge can sometimes override common sense,” she says. “Simply repeating something over and over won’t make a difference. If a horse is struggling with his flying changes and he suddenly gets it, leave it there. “A horse who is massively stressed out will rarely learn anything that he can later remember; you might hit upon it, but if he can’t process the ‘why’ then he might not be able to repeat it. In the long term, it’s better to chip away with little and often.”

Waiting game

Becky Moody, who rides and trains at a variety of levels, admits that playing a waiting game can be more challenging for the onehorse owner.

“It’s much easier if you’re lucky enough to have quite a few to ride,” she says. “You might need a lot of patience until a horse is mentally at ease with something or physically stronger, but this is more difficult if you have just the one and all the focus is on him.

“Occasionally, a horse steps up easily from one level to the next, but with nearly every one there’s something, at some point, that you have to take your time with,” she says. “It really helps if you have a good support team, with a coach you can really trust, so you can talk about things: this is where we’re at, this is going better but this is just not happening.

“It doesn’t necessarily need to be the coach – a mentor or a friend who has more experience can help,” she adds. “It’s all about understanding that, with horses, patience is part of the process.” 

The path to patience 

Plan your route

The solution for some people is to reflect on why it is you become impatient and to identify your triggers, says Moira. Set goals and know the plan. An understanding of what needs to happen at each stage, to reach the next goal, can reduce frustration.

Know when to stop

Frustration can arise if you’re searching for perfection. Perhaps you’re working on tempi changes and achieve a row of three-times and then two-times – the goal of your session. While the thinking and reflective rider stops there, the temptation is often to make them just a little a bit better and have another go. Mistakes then arise and frustration is increased.

Manage your reactions

Impatience can cause us to inadvertently tense our muscles. Learning basic relaxation scan techniques can help with identifying and releasing any tension caused by frustration. A good technique, something as simple as counting to 10, can take your mind away from the trigger, help slow your heart rate and relax your muscles.

Re-appraise progress

Rather than thinking that didn’t go well, or this isn’t going right, reevaluate through restructuring your thoughts. Ask yourself ‘What do I need to change?’

Article originally published in March 2022 
© British Dressage Magazine 
Author: Andrea Oakes